maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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