is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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