I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize