you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
