really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize