he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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