Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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