She's JV to your varsity
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize