I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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