he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
