Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
