Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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