it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
