Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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