i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
