if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
