The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
