So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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