how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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