I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
