; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
