you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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