My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
