i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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