when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
