I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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