grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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