Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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