ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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