well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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