u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
