i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
