her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
