I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
