Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
