Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
