Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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