is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
