woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize