No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
