Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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