We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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