All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
