Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
