his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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