So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize