you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
