you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize