the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
