Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
