So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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