drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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