I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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