So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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