im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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